William Joseph Haun III      1875­-1911


Born in the hills near Knoxville TN, William, or “BillJo” as he was referred to was the only child of Gary and Donna Haun. Despite the fact that he lost the smallest finger on his left hand, he attained moderate success as a traveled fiddler. His trademark “4 finger slide” became imitated by most southern fiddlers, and,  who in some cases, removed their own small fingers in order to more respectfully replicate his style.

BillJo suffered from consumption, and ailment that would eventually bring about his demise. He claimed that the liquor cured him of his “night terrors”, though there is no substantial proof that he actually exhibited  these terrors or that the shine actually had any positive effects.

BillJo’s last years were spent panhandling throughout the mid-west after the turn of the century. He became more paranoid and stopped fiddling altogether. He began drawing on whatever media he could find, resulting in a rather large body of work given the short amount of time he worked. By comparison, his drawings were far inferior to his music, though they do seem to be a more direct source to his constantly decaying psyche. He was found dead in a Chicago alley in 1911.  His sole possessions were 11 cents and a small stuffed bird.

Along the way he made some comics

Danny “Buckshot” Warlop (1877-1920)


Danny was the oldest boy born to Daniel senior and Martha Warlop. Danny was a corn-fed Iowa boy that grew up unable to sit still, and who had an uncanny ability to charm the pants off of strangers at the local watering hole. He never married. Where “buckshot” came from remains a mystery because he never touched a shotgun in his life, but rumor has it that he took a fewpellets in the left eye in a hunting accident as a young buck, which gave him a dead-eye. They couldn’t think of a better handle at the time.

In his early 20’s he became known for his unusual ability to paralyze wildlife with his “stink-eye” stare, which like a modern-day medusa, rendered them incapacitated with self-doubt for 10-12 hours at a time. Because of this, he had a brief run as champion rustler in ought 2, but after one successful season, he was disqualified at the behest of the son of a wealthy merchant contestant who hadn’t worked a day in his life, and who vehemently claimed in the local paper’s editorial section, “plumb just ain’t fair that a man can win a rustlin’ contest with a evil look alone. Ya needs skills to tackle and hogtie a calfie. That man ain’t no fair to no poor dumb beasts [sic.].” This eloquent advocacy for animal welfare persuaded the judging council that the deck was indeed stacked against the other contestants, and “buckshot” never competed again.

Bothered with the limelight, Danny headed out west, stopping off in Oklahoma City, Boulder, and Salt Lake City, before coming to rest in Dallas. His charm won him an unsought place on the local ballot for Mayor, and when women got the vote in 20, he was elected in a landslide of support from the vote of the fairer sex. He was finally persuaded after several hours to take a look at the inside of Dallas City hall, but no sooner had his boot crossed the threshold when the jealous ex-mayor, upon learning of his wife voting for the young, handsome buckshot, filled his other eye, and the rest of his skull with a deer slug.

The only surviving photo of him was taken the day he was put on the mayoral ticket. His estate, which went to the good citizens of Dallas at his demise, consisted of his hat, several comics he had made with the legendary fiddler Billjo, a monocle, and an Egyptian fertility icon. His bones are interred at the keystone of the Dallas capital building.

“Slim” Tim Umpleby (1902 – 2001)
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Tim Umpleby was the fastest stagecoach driver on either side of the Mason Dixon line. He once set the still record time from Duluth to Cheyenne in under 20 hours. He was quick with a joke, and a light of your smoke and there was no place he would rather be. Well liked by all (especially the ladies) he was one of the only white men to be accepted as an honorary Comanche and took with him a squaw as his legally recognized wife. As an accomplished tombstoner, he delighted the ladies with his nautical prowess.
In 1922, while driving a train to New San Francisco he was struck in the head by a ricochet bullet which among other things rendered him color blind.
He spent the rest of his life coloring comic books.
Jason “Jaycat” Parada  (1873 – 2001)
Somewhere in the Black Mountain Hills of Dakota
There lived a young boy named Jaycat Parada
And one day his woman ran off with another guy
Hit young Jaycat in the eye
Jaycat didn’t like that
He said, “I’m gonna get that boy”
So one day he walked into town
Booked himself a room in the local saloon
Jaycat Parada checked into his room
Only to find Preacher Becks Bible
Jaycat had come, equipped with a gun
To shoot off the legs of his rival
His rival it seems, had broken his dreams
By stealing the girl of his fancy
Her name was Katy, and she called herself Lady
But everyone knew her as Ham Hands
Now she and her man, who called himself Dan (Buckshot)
Were in the next room at the hoe down
Jaycat burst in, and grinning a grin
He said, “Danny boy, this is a showdown”
But Daniel was hot, he drew first and shot
And Jaycat collapsed in the corner
Jaycat died two weeks later from sepsis.